Pollyana Cherrycoke, or Ana for Short

Pippi has been located, and the… ugh, pink hat is safe and sound. The way is now clear to Youngtown, where Ninten and Lloyd meet the next member of their ragtag team: Pollyana Cherrycoke, or Ana for short!

The polar opposite of Ninten, Ana is cheerful, chatty, and optimistic to a fault. She’s always singing a song and likes talking to birds. She’s bound to get on Ninten’s nerves any moment now, but he and Lloyd are gonna need all the help they can get from her when something makes the animals in the zoo go crazy and bust out of their cages! Something… extraterrestrial? Let’s hope George’s journal can help Ninten survive his very first encounter with an especially nasty kind of bad guy… the Starman!

Will they halt the animal insurrection led by the lumbering Gregory the elephant? Will a hero rise, take up a baseball bat, and protect the innocent children of Youngtown from a sinister alien menace? Will that hero be…  Mayor Tom Garrickson Junior?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas! No crying till the ending.

Transcript

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You’re listening to… The Podcast Against Giygas!

Episode four: Pollyana Cherrycoke, or Ana for Short

*

Ninten and Lloyd saw before them a gated open field full of trees and marble pedestals and ornate Greek-style statues of heroes and gods. And upon each of those structures were birds of all kinds, commonplace songbirds, robins and bluejays and sparrows, exotic parrots and macaws and cockatoos, graceful swans, honking geese, and ducklings in a row paddling close behind their mothers. You name a bird, it was there, living and flying and flitting about and singing in perfect harmony with all other birds. 

What led the boys deeper in was, not the further sound of birdsong, but rather the faint hum of, well, humansong. 

I believe the morning sun

Always gonna shine again, and

I believe a pot of gold

Waits at every rainbow's end, oh

I believe in roses kissed with dew

Why shouldn't I believe the same in you?

They heard a stereo system playing a big hit on the radio, written by the Runaway Five but made most famous by superstar singer Christy Venus, back when she was still with her premiere backup band, the Contenders.

I believe in make believe

Fairy tales and lucky charms and

I believe in promises

Spoken as you cross your heart, oh

I believe in skies forever blue

Why shouldn't I believe the same in you?

The boys followed the siren song, barely aware of themselves, and soon they encountered a girl. It was the same one they saw in that cutout Pippi has showed them back at Spookane, and she looked as though that picture had just been taken yesterday. Same lavender clothes, same smile, even, amazingly, the same yellow canary perched on her little index finger. And of course, the same blond pigtails, the only difference was those pigtails were not covered by the pink hat in Ninten’s hands.

She skipped around like she was playing hopscotch, all in time to the music, which was now as loud for them as    right next to a turntable. In fact, she was singing along, so loudly and so well they could barely discern between her voice and Venus’s on the recording. 

You may say I'm a fool

Feelin' the way that I do

You can call me Pollyanna

Say I'm crazy as a loon

I believe in silver linings

And that's why I believe in you!

Was Ninten seeing this right? Was she, singing along with the canary? She was! During the song’s penultimate bridge, a part Ninten knew very well and liked very much, the girl traded gentle drawn-out tremolos after that last word, and the bird actually tweeted back call-and-response style. 

The song ended, like it always does. The girl stopped her hopping and bopping dance and looked to her companion. They were met by what sounded like hundreds of appreciative chirps from canaries as well as other birds all around them. 

—Not bad, little guy! I think you were just a bit flat in that last line though!

The bird chirped back at her like a child saying nuh-uh. A few canaries chirped over all the others, which got a gentle chuckle out of the girl. 

—Okay, okay… pipe down, everyone. Here he is, safe and sound. We just wanted to practice our singing for a bit first.

The small canary finally flew from her finger and joined a group of other canaries together in a nest. The biggest one among them, which comported herself like the mama bird of the bunch, tweeted at the girl once more, who gave a warm smile and curtsied.

—Oh, you’re very welcome, Mrs. Laura. And I think your boy here has learned a valuable lesson, hasn’t he? Remember, Frederick, not everyone in the zoo has nice manners, like the monkeys do. Think about that the next time you want to wander off next door.

The mama bird, presumably Mrs. Laura, once again chirped at the girl. 

—Oh, well, of course Mrs. Laura. We would all love to hear a song from you, wouldn’t we everyone?

The birds all tweeted in unison, for all anyone knew agreeing that yes, they would very much love to hear a song. They all went silent, and allowed Mrs. Laura to puff out her breast and ruffle up her feathers, before belting out, like the girl before her, not a birdsong, but a humansong. 

🎶 🎶

The girl was stunned by the performance, but she composed herself as the other birds chirped in applause, which she eventually did with her hands. Ninten, who was still watching the proceedings from a distance away, was just as stunned. A gentle, human voice just came out of a bird, and stranger still, it seemed to know the portion of the melody previously sung by that mad doll in his living room. It took that melody and expanded on it, while nonetheless stopping at the second bar, hardly leaving behind a satisfying whole. 

—Oh, my goodness, Mrs. Laura. I’ve never heard anything like that, from a bird or a human lady! Where on earth did you learn to… what?

As if being bidden by the birds to do so, the girl finally looked behind her. And so was the first time that Ninten Elliott and Pollyana Cherrycoke locked eyes. They both felt a great force move between them, as if the universe was shifting space around like furniture to make room for something huge and momentous. Indeed, it even seemed to move the birds around them, as they all sprung from their perches and flew around the boy and the girl together in a synchronized cloud, before the force between them all dissipated and they returned to their perches.

—…oh. Hello.

They all stood there, dumbly. Ninten became embarrassed and took off his hat, as an old-fashioned man was expected to do while indoors or in the presence of a lady.

—I’m ah… I’m Ninten. Ninten Elliott.

Ninten braced himself for a chuckle or even a hint of derision, which he was more than accustomed to by this point in his youth. But surprisingly, the girl before him merely raised an eyebrow and smiled. She mulled the name over in her mind, trying it out like a neat new flavor of candy.

—Ninten… Ninten… Nin-TEN!

She pumped her fist back and forth with each pronunciation. Ninten gave a sheepish laugh.

—Yeah, um… it’s an unusual name, I know. My mom ah, she said it was Japanese or something. She always was a little, kooky I guess…

—I think it’s a magnificent name. Ninten… it’s a, it’s a very lucky name, isn’t it? I think you should thank your mother for giving you such a fine, forceful name!

Ninten’s spirits soured just a little by the reminder, but he shook off the feeling. Suddenly remembering that he had it, he dusted off the girl’s hat and gently returned it to her. She gasped at the sight and immediately placed it on her head, pirouetting and spinning a little with a giggle.

—My favorite hat! Oh, thank you, you’re such a gentleman! 

—Well ah, it was mostly… Pippi, is it? She seemed to not want to, um… for political reasons, I guess…

—Oh, understood! Well, her secret is safe with me. Oh, how rude of me, I’m Pollyana, but most people call me Ana for short. You can call me Pollyana or Ana for short, whichever one pleases you in the moment, and I won’t mind either way. Anyway, very pleased to meet you.

Ana shot out her right hand to shake, and after Ninten gingerly accepted she shook it with all her might.

—“I can call you Pollyana,” huh? 

—Yup!

—Well, go figure.

—How so? 

—…well, it’s just kinda funny. That’s your name, and you’re so… you’re just…

Ana gave him a puzzled look, which made him more nervous.

—Uh… you, know who “Pollyanna” is, right?

—Well, sure I do.

—Oh, well, okay then. So…

—She’s me!

Ninten grumbled and gave up the endeavor, trying another little joke.

—Well, what’s your last name? Doolittle? 

Ana replied, without even a sliver of offense taken,

—Nope! Not even close. 

Now Ninten felt foolish beyond all hope, as Ana continued to speak.

—No, you already know it. Or at least, you might, if you noticed the big sign outside. The Cherrycoke Aviary of Youngtown. This place has been handed down to my family over the years, and now it’s been left to me. 

—So, Pollyana Cherrycoke? 

—In the flesh! You know, I like thinking about names, in stories and in real life. It’s a hobby of mine, you know, where they originally come from and how a person wears them around. It influences them, you know, it’s a part of what makes them who they are. For example, I’ve been reading this book, it’s wonderful, lots of knights in armor and dragons and magic and stuff. Well, there’s this one character who’s a knight but also a werewolf. And what’s his name? Sir Remus Fenrir of Lupinopolus. Well, there you go! Remus, after the legendary founder of Rome who was raised by wolves, and Fenrir, a big wolf in Norse mythology, and “Lupin,” from the Latin for “wolf.” His parents had wolves on the brain! I wonder if he would have been safer with a plainer name, like Frank, I mean, no offense to all the great Franks of the world, but if it means not getting bit by a werewolf, well… Or, take my name. I’ll introduce myself to people and they’ll say “oh, well I bet I know what your favorite soda pop is,” or if I’m out at a diner or something the waiter might be like “well, young lady, I bet I know what you’re ordering to drink,” and don’t get me wrong, I love cherry cola, it’s bright and sweet and wonderful and delicious, but you know, there’s so many other delicious flavors, why there’s a whole great big world of soda pop out there, and it’s a shame, isn’t it, to just let your name limit you to all the soda pops the world has to offer, you know?

She looked up at Ninten, whose mouth was agape, having hopelessly lost the plot somewhere around the legendary founder of Rome. Ana became self conscious at Ninten’s silence, like maybe she said something wrong. They sustained their silence for a while, until Lloyd of all people cleared his throat and broke it.

—I’m Lloyd!

—Oh. Hello, Lloyd!

She gave the smaller boy a warm smile and a polite nod before returning her gaze to Ninten. 

—So here you are at last. The boy of my dreams.

—Um… what?

Whatever spell Ninten was under at the sight of Ana, her singing, her cheerfulness, her chattiness, it was this declaration that soured his mood of the meeting completely, like a loud blown raspberry during a dramatic part in a sappy romance movie. 

—Well, let’s go, then, we don’t have a moment to lose! Queen Mary must have spoken to you too, right? We’ve got to find her in her kingdom, or, I guess I should say her Queendom, huh?

Whatever protestations Ninten wanted to make at the sudden turn the conversation took, he was interrupted by a sound. Like Ana’s singing from before, it sounded directly into his mind, bright and clear and loud as whatever it was was right in front of them. But most unlike her singing, it was a shrill and painful shriek, so oppressive to their ears it nearly bowled the three of them over onto the ground.  

After a minute of the noise the children seemed to accustom themselves to it, though it did not cease in their minds. No, the sound that worried them much more in the next moment came from the zoo next door. The first to emerge from the open-air field was a loud trumpet of an elephant, which made Ana’s eyes grow wide in alarm.

—Gregory? But what is he…

The children looked over the aviary fence and at the zoo. There, they saw, not just an elephant, but every animal, tigers, lions, bears, wolves, alligators, and snakes, all out of their cages and running amok, the same shrill noise affecting them even worse. It wasn’t long before the elephant, the apparent leader among them, rushed for the front gates of the zoo entire and, stampeding with his formidable elephant hooves and tusks, brought the ineffectual doors down, allowing the crazed animals access to run around all over the town.  

*

Fortunately, only a scant few tigers, crocodiles, brown bears, Gregory the elephant, and a lone and quite confused dromedary camel made it out of the zoo before Ana, thanks to her quick thinking, ran out of the aviary and up to the front gates of the neighboring zoo and, well, did something strange. Putting up a single open hand, there seemed to appear an invisible albeit solid wall that blocked the open entrance of the zoo. 

But unfortunately, of course, there remained a scant few tigers, crocodiles, hyenas, brown bears, Gregory the elephant, and that lone and quite confused dromedary roaming out of their cages and on the streets of Youngtown. Scores of innocent townschildren who weren’t covering their ears at that awful screeching sound, which still telepathically pervaded everyone’s eardrums, ran away and screamed at the wild beasts now free to roam and cause mischief. 

The children made their way to a couple tigers, ready to pounce on a very young boy, straggling to catch up with some older children running away. Ninten went to them, his bat glowing white hot with psionic energy, before Ana gasped and put a hand on his shoulder, restraining him.

—No! Don’t hurt them, they can’t help it!

—What?! Then what are supposed to do?

Ana put out her hands, and just as the tiger pounced, jaws and claws out and ready for the kill, it stopped. Floated, even, right in midair. The poor boy and would-be lunch of that tiger was just as much stunned by that sight as he was terrified of the immediate danger he faced, and it took a few tries for Ana to shout get out of here! before the boy actually listened and made himself scarce. 

Ana waved her hand toward the broken front gates of the zoo, and the tiger, still levitating in midair, floated away from the town and back to its cage where it belonged. As if she was carrying the animal with big invisible arms, she gently placed it in its pen and, with that same invisible force, locked the gates behind her. Ninten and Lloyd dumbly stood by and watched as Ana ran to each and every missing animal, picked them up off the ground the same strange way as before, and floated them back to the confines of the zoo. 

Throughout the chaos, Ninten couldn’t help but find it curious that a group of pandas, whose pen was unlocked and its doors wide open, were nonetheless ignoring the commotion around them and lazing on their backs, munching some bamboo and wondering what all the hubbub was about.

All that was left now was the ringleader of the stampede, the very same Gregory the elephant, who was making his way deep into the heart of the town square. Ana gasped and made a beeline to the crazed animal, Ninten and Lloyd following helplessly behind. Gregory had reached a group of terrified children scrambling en masse into a nearby general store for safety. He let out a furious trumpet and reared his legs in air, ready to stomp down on a girl who had tripped in the scramble and was down on the ground, disoriented. Ninten realized to his horror that the girl was Pippi!

He ran as fast as he could, without thinking, right up to Gregory, and snatched the girl away just in time, letting the elephant’s thick legs smash the concrete beneath him. Not long after that, Ana approached the animal, puffed out her chest, and raised her hands in the air. Gregory bellowed and reared up his legs once again, and Ninten gasped. This time, he was too far away to snatch Ana away to safety. All he could do was clench his eyes shut as the elephant stomped down… 

But after slowly opening his eyes again, he was met by a sight far less grisly than he expected and far more puzzling: there Ana stood, holding her ground, and there was the poor elephant, encased in some kind of barrier. It was invisible at first, but as the crazed animal thrashed around the thing it showed flashes and sparks of blue and pink energy. Ana stepped forward and looked at the elephant right in the eye, without a shred of fear, like a mother disciplining a child.

—GREGORY! NO!

The shout was so loud Ninten could have sworn he heard it in his own mind. This seemed to do the trick, as the wild beast stopped flailing around the strange enclosure, and eventually calmed down. Ana waved her hand away and the the barrier vanished. She then got closer to Gregory, who lowered his head to her level and let her pet his long trunk.

—Oh, you poor thing. It’s okay, you didn’t hurt anyone…

The danger more or less over, Ninten and Pippi went to Ana.

—Oh, Pippi! I’m sorry I couldn’t make it in time. Are you okay? 

—I’m fine. Thanks to wonderboy here…

Ninten shrugged off Pippi’s attention and turned to Ana.

—What was that? How did you…

—Oh, this? It’s a force field.

Ana put out a hand and summoned another weird barrier at her fingertips, this one rectangular-shaped and about as tall as she was.

—I could do it ever since I was really young. I can do lots of other things with my mind, too. 

—So you were… really, talking to those animals back there?

—Of course I was! I can hear their thoughts and they can hear mine. 

—So you’re like me. You’re constructive, though.

—Well, I always like to look on the bright side when I can!

—No no, I mean… you have psionic power. Like I do. Are you the only one here who can do stuff like that?

—The only kid, I think…

Lloyd, who was pretty much useless through the whole ordeal, finally took this moment to chime in.

—Ninten can talk to animals with his mind too.

—Wow, really?!

Ninten grumbled and turned away.

—It’s not as strong as the other powers I have, I can’t really…

—He spoke to his dog back at his house!

—I mean, not in so many words, but…

—You have a dog?!

—…well, yes.

—Oh, that’s wonderful! I do just love big goofy dogs! What’s his name? How is he doing?

—It’s ah, his name is Rink, he’s a… he likes scratches behind his ears… look, I think we have other things to worry about here.

On cue, that awful telepathic screech, which seemed to dissipate over the chaos with the wild animals on the streets, now invaded their minds once again. The matter of those animals now dealt with, it wasn’t hard this time to determine exactly where that sound was coming from. Ninten looked to a building, marble-white with plenty of Greek columns to stand out from the others. Ana gasped at the sight. 

—Oh no! It’s coming from city hall! 

Pippi quickly stood at attention and saluted to Ana.

—Got it! I’ll protect the mayor, and you keep Gregory and the others safe and calm. 

Both girls nodded to each other and ran off to their respective destinations, and Ninten, stunned, watching the younger girl charge into the next battle with a chutzpah that either forgot or seemed to willingly ignore all the hardship she had already been through, shook all this off and turned to Lloyd. 

—I should go help her.

—Good idea. I have my bottle rockets, too, I can-

—Actually, I was thinking maybe Ana needs some help with the animals. 

Ninten was not really thinking that Ana needed any help in getting the animals settled down, of course, but instead was rather thinking that Lloyd would get in the way of whatever he was to do in city hall, though thankfully Lloyd did not seem to pick up on this. Instead, he bristled at his suggestion.

—Are you kidding me? You think I’d walk back into that? Just think, wild bears, lionesses without their cubs, a tusked and fully-matured African elephant? It’s only eleven am, they probably haven’t even been fed lunch yet… the chances of… No! It’s too horrible to even imagine. 

Ninten sighed and rolled his eyes. So the whole trip was going to be like this, huh?

—You’re right, Lloyd. It’s best you come with me, so we can face down whatever alien thing it is that’s making all the animals wild in the first place. 

—…alien?

—Yup.

Lloyd’s beady eyes went wide in his glasses and with a whimper he sharply turned away from Ninten and ran off to Ana and the zoo as fast as he could. 

*

Ninten ran alone to city hall and followed the screeching in his mind, which led straight to the most important room in the whole building, the mayor’s office. There was a boy, maybe eleven or so, wearing a sharp tailored pinstripe suit, brown hair slicked back, and cowering in a corner of the room. There was Pippi, standing over the boy, guarding his life with her dukes up against the third person in the room.

It looked like a man. It had a head, a torso, two arms and two legs, and stood upright. But that was where all similarities ended. The mysterious being seemed to wear a spacesuit, but it appeared to be an extension of its very body. Its “suit” shined a liquid silvery sheen, its “arms” and “legs” slithered like viscous tentacles toward Pippi and the mayor, and its head, which seemed little more than a big fishbowl-shaped dome with a jet-black rectangular visor to “see,” nonetheless presented an expression of pure malice and ill-intent. Ninten had seen a being like this before, throughout the pages of George Moley’s diary. And in those pages, he never had anything good to say about them. His old ancestor’s haphazard sketches usually involved them shooting frightening blasts of energy out of their heads, the unlucky recipients being reduced to crudely-drawn skeletons. Such was the unhappy and inevitable fate of one who encounters a “Starman.” 

In fact, the only time he saw a sketch of someone surviving an encounter with one was a person who held up a shield of some kind, hexagonal and ornate. A force field, in other words. Fortunately, he knew someone who could perform exactly such a force field. But unfortunately, he let her go back to the zoo just to get Lloyd off his hands. 

Pippi lunged toward her foe with no fear, not to mention not at all fazed that her foe was alien in nature. If George’s diary was anything to go by, then if Pippi held her ground here, even if she could hold her own against a cadre of zombies, she was toast.

—Wait, no!

Ninten’s outburst made Pippi turn toward him in alarm. Luckily, it also distracted the Starman, whose blast of bright-yellow energy careened from its head and not toward Pippi, but haphazardly around the office, incinerating the desk and equipment in its wake. 

The force of the blast, which by rights could have turned her into a pile of dust in seconds, stunned her into inaction. Ninten stepped between her and the alien, brandishing his bat and making it glow with his own power. 

We have located the thief, the usurper. You will return the power you have stolen. Giygas will have his revenge. All hail Giygas.

The creature spoke directly into Ninten’s mind, like that mysterious albeit pleasant-sounding woman. Unlike her, however, the thing’s voice sounded horrible, prickly, scratchy, like nails dragging against slate, like bugs crawling around in his head. 

Ninten shook off the uneasy feeling. He lunged and attacked, swinging his bat, and his opponent deflected it with a force field, not at all unlike the one he just saw Ana summon for herself moments ago. The Starman responded with a ferocious blast from its head, which Ninten hopped out of the way from just in time. 

This fight was the Starman’s to win, as Ninten could not get a hit in edgewise and neither could he keep dodging the alien’s own formidable attacks for long. Wearing him down with his constant evasions, the Starman cornered Ninten and charged a haymaker blast, his glowing head illuminating the whole room a bright yellow. Without knowing what else to do, he braced himself, and at the moment of contact swung his bat at the oncoming ray of light. 

Amazingly, it not only deflected the blast, but sent it careening back to the Starman, like he was waiting for a pitch and hit a grand slam, knocking it out of the park!

The Starman staggered back from the blow, its own force field disintegrated. Ninten pressed his advantage, wailing on the alien with his charged-up bat. With each blow, the Starman tried to put up one feeble shield after another, only for Ninten to swat it away again and again. Finally, Ninten grunted, planted his feet, and aimed for the rafters. 

His bat connected, the alien rose from his feet into the air, pop-flying right out the window, and a second later the force of Ninten’s psionic energy made the thing disintegrate. 

Only then, the coast clear from alien mischief, did any of the children in the mayor’s office give notice to the strange gadget floating in the middle of the room. Blue and red, shaped like a big lozenge the size of a basketball, it was undeniably this thing that was causing the strange psychic noise throughout the town. Without missing a beat, Pippi approached the thing and stomped on it with her foot like a disgusting bug, smashing it to bits. She then turned her attention to Ninten, giving him a dreamy look and a wide-eyed smile.

—You… saved me!

Ninten looked to the ground sheepishly. 

—Uh, you know… I just wanted to help…

—Wow! The way you fight, I’ve never seen anything like it!… Say, do you play baseball? I play too! Well, softball specifically, but still… oh, that reminds me, do you think my socks are too short? I usually wear pretty long ones, you know, for softball, but I think these are cute!

Unable to help himself, Ninten looked down at Pippi’s socks, which reached well past her shins and up to the bottom of her knees. 

—Um… I don’t think your socks are too short.

—Oh silly! You didn’t have to answer so fast!

Whatever ill-will and rancor Pippi had for him at the Spookane cemetery was long gone, now imagining wedding plans, honeymoon destinations, what neighborhoods they should move into together, and the appropriate number of children. Thankfully, the third child in the room, which both Ninten and Pippi had plum forgotten about due to the fireworks, made himself known and nipped all that in the bud. 

—Hoo boy. Thanks, stranger, you really saved my skin. Name’s Tom by the way, Mayor Tom Garrickson Junior, pleased as punch to meetchya.

He gave his hand for Ninten to shake, who eventually did so, and then turned his attention to Pippi.

—Hey there, little girl. Tom Garrickson Junior, Mayor of Youngtown, how do you do?

—I know who you are, ya doofus, I live here too!

—Well, what can I say, I love introducing myself, always have, always will. Introducing myself is a personal hobby of mine, I’m a crazy introducing fool named Mayor Tom Garrickson Junior, that’s me! 

The mayor gave Ninten a flashy grin and placed an arm around his shoulders. 

—My name’s, Ninten, by the way.

—And I love that for you! Say, buddy, listen. The press is no doubt on their way here and my reelection is coming up in a few months, what do you say you do me one more teensy-weensy little favor and we ah, spin the story a little?

—What do you mean, spin the story?

—Well, I’m thinking in this, trying time, the good people of Youngtown will want to see a leader willing to take charge, get his hands dirty, do whatever it takes to protect them, even ah… you know, take up a baseball bat and…

Pippi gasped in disgust.

—You want to hog all the credit for yourself?!

—Oh come now, “hog” is such an ugly word! Think of me more like a little bitty piglet, ever-so-slightly nibbling all the credit. 

—No way, Jose! Ninten’s a hero! And I saw it for myself, and I’m not for sale!

—…I’ll buy you a pony?

Mere minutes later, the children of Youngtown set up a press conference before city hall and the mayor regaled them with a tale of his heroism and derring-do, bravely and single-handedly taking up his family heirloom baseball bat, the same one with which his great ancestor hit more home runs than any player in baseball history.

—And so, thanks to my quick thinking I, mayor Tom Garrickson Junior, as you know, was able to bludgeon this alien freak, rescue these young ones beside me, and prevent this menace from taking over our beloved town. It is with this same devotion to the town and its people that I, Tom Garrickson Junior, have always served you in the past, and will pledge with all my heart to do so for four more years, come November. Isn't that right? 

Ninten rolled his eyes and nodded yeah, sure, whatever, and Pippi giddily nodded in agreement, her mind’s eye squarely fixed upon a brand new gift horse. 

—Can I have my bat back now, please?

The mayor, not missing a beat, puffed up his chest and smiled a big smile before the crowd, never keeping his gaze away from the cameras flashing before him, while gingerly, surreptitiously, ever-so-slightly behind his back, returned his precious heirloom passed down to his family for a hundred years, back to the boy to whom it belonged.

Ninten didn’t stay put after the conference, but headed back to the zoo where Ana and Lloyd were, and Pippi followed close behind. When they arrived, Ana was making the last few preparations to secure the freed animals, gently floating them back inside one-by-one while Lloyd swung the gates shut and locked them secure. They had just put a capuchin monkey back inside its open-air pen when Ana noticed them.

—Oh, wonderful! You made it back safe! And Boris here was the very last critter out of his pen. Well, I’m off now, and I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Keep an eye on the town, Pippi, and all my friends in the zoo, would you please?

Pippi smiled and stood at attention, giving Ana a vigorous salute.

—You can count on me! 

She then made herself scarce, no doubt to threateningly train her super-powered slingshots on some unsuspecting adult visitor or yell at one of her subordinates. Ana then turned her attention to the two boys.

—Well, let’s get going. We don’t have a moment to lose. 

Now that the hubbub was over, Ninten’s earlier nausea at his current situation washed over him. 

—No. I’m going back to Podunk.

—What? What do you mean, you…

—This whole thing, I’m sick and tired of it. I’ve just been wandering around, no idea where to go, nothing at all helpful in this stupid journal, and getting attacked by one weird stupid thing after another.

—But… you can’t leave, you just got here! We just met!

—Well, gee whiz, then I guess you shouldn’t have told me I’m the boy of your dreams.

—No no, you got it all wrong. I meant it literally. I’ve been seeing you, in my dreams, for my whole entire life. 

——…that is so much worse than what you said before.

—I have little visions, little snippets of the future, things that are bound to come true. And we go on a long and strange journey together, and save the whole world, and at the end… well, we become wonderful friends… and no matter what, they always come true! Always.

—Well, looks like I’m going to make one of them not come true for the first time ever. See ya.

Ninten sharply turned his back on the other two and headed for the zoo exit, when suddenly-

—Ow! What the…

He stopped and clutched his forehead, having hit it on something hard. He felt the air before him, and touched what appeared to be a solid, invisible wall. Indeed, Ana was holding her hand out before her, and it was clear to them all that she had conjured another one of her ultra-strong mental force fields.

—What are you doing? Let me go!

—Why should I?

—Because… I have to go back home! I have a lot of homework to get done!

—Why?

—So I can pass all my end of the year exams.

—Why?

—So I can get good grades.

—Why?

—So I can get into a good college.

—Why?

—So I can become… an investment banker…

Ninten wasn’t sure what was infuriating him more, Ana stopping his way, Ana’s bothersome questions, or how ashamed he felt at how embarrassing his honest answers to those questions were.

—…why?

—Argh! So I can make sure I have enough money to be comfortable, because life is nothing more than the drive to become as comfortable as you can against the overwhelming and constant sadness and absurdity of everyday life! There, happy now?! 

This stunned Ana and Lloyd into silence, and Ana put her hand down. Appearing as though they finally got the point, Ninten sighed and turned his back to them, heading toward the zoo exit…

—OW! GAAAH!

And right into that same rock-solid force field, hitting himself on the same still-tender spot on his forehead. 

—Well, I’m very sorry, but you didn’t convince me. You’ll just have to suffer a point or two off your GPA.

If Ninten was merely creeped-out and annoyed by this silly girl before her, now she made him utterly furious. But before he could retort, they were all stopped by a strange, pleasant voice of a woman, entirely in their minds. 

Wonderful, children! You’re making excellent progress! Three down, and only one more to go before you finally become the Chosen Three! …um …wait. Anyway, head toward the very next town, and once you meet your last companion, then you can come to me. You’ll find the front door to my realm there, too, and this last friend of yours, only he can point the way to the God’s Tail. See you soon! Oh, before you go, it looks like Boris has something to say!

The three children turned to face the capuchin monkey Ana had just placed in his pen, perched on a tree branch. He stood up on both feet and… did he, clear his throat?

🎶 🎶 🎶

After only three bars, still not even close to any sort of satisfying resolution to the melody, he abruptly stopped and went back to swinging on branches with his long arms. Well, if Ana hadn’t set things straight with Ninten, this certainly did. There’s no arguing with a singing monkey, after all. 

*

You’ve been listening to The Podcast Against Giygas. The Podcast Against Giygas is an audiobook written and performed by me, Garrett McMahon, based on Mother, the 1989 video game for the Nintendo Entertainment System directed by Shigesato Itoi. With production by William Pawlowski, thumbnail design and art direction by David Peters, and musical selections from the recent Earthbound Beginnings remake hack, with arrangements by livvy94, Snyderman, Bluestone, Pink, and Mary Strawberry.

This podcast is a guaranteed masterpiece! It is also a fan-made project affiliated in no way whatsoever with the Nintendo Corporation or Mr. Itoi. This podcast is free to listen to, ad-free, and always will be. I hope you enjoyed today’s episode, and if you did, a rating and review on your podcast service of choice is always appreciated. Well, I’ll see you back next Monday, but until then, no crying till the ending!